Wedding events are a time of hope and laughter, the joining of hearts and lives, aspirations, dreams, and goals. They’re a special event of the joy that has been found between two people, and the pledge of devotion they are taking as they go forward in a new life together. If it isn’t a first union, and there are children involved, there are additional factors that must be thought about and recognized as portion of the process. And even though it is a beautiful, happy thing, it also has some hurdles as it involves a lot of change for multiple people.
In case you’re moving ahead into a mixed family situation, listed below are a few things to take note as the big day approaches. (They’re possibly thoughts that are already bouncing around in your mind as you’re trying to wrap your mind around the entire experience.).
For starters, there are so many emotions involved in this union, and so many hearts, too, making it a really sensitive thing. Some of the children may be excited and see this as a great thing, and others might be struggling with sadness or apprehension. And in order for those things to be processed, they have to be addressed.
Along with the previous point, it’s important to help orient your children for the upcoming change. They might feel uneasy about what the change will actually look like, or feel sensitive about a stepparent acting as a parent. They might resent that or feel like they’re forced to feel a certain way.
In the months preceding the wedding day, it’s a great idea to do things together as a new blended family unit to make opportunities for important bonding to occur. Your children need experiences with their new stepparent that allows them to begin building their own relationship with that person, independent of you. And you need experiences with your new spouse’s children that will enable them to get to know you and let you into their lives. You can’t be forceful or pushy with this one, but when the time is right, and in ways that are gentle and inconspicuous, time together is an important thing so relationships can begin to form and eventually solidify.
Involve the kids in the process. They’ll feel more like they are a valued part of what is happening if they can help with wedding stuff and be incorporated. Undoubtedly there will be things that you’ll feel firmly about, but there are bunches of selections that they can weigh in on.
Besides, if you’re getting married, you’re laying for the long haul, and you may as well get used to that family feeling now.
If you’re planning a wedding, you’re likely trying to figure out a myriad of details and how to bring everything together just so. If you’re looking for a way to keep the wedding party together, call us and book our gray line tours Niagara falls! If that’s one way we can remove some extra stress from off your plate, we’d love to help with that.